Dear Santa,

First of all, I know this is probably the billionth letter like this you’ve ever received. I want you to know that I’m not another cloying fan trying to butter you up to get more presents. I’m writing to you because I’m genuine and I respect you. J Honestly, if we met, I think we’d be friends. I’m sure you’ve heard that one before, too. This isn’t about presents, and it isn’t about me trying to show you how much I care. I mean I do care, but that’s not the point. I hope that’s as clear to you as it was in my head J.
Now that all of that stuff is out of the way, let me just say that I think you do great work. Last Christmas, you brought me a couple of books and the whole second season of Lost on DVD. That was totally rad J. What I appreciate most is the wrapping. Do you do that or do the elves? I’d assume that it’s the elves, but I’d also like to assume that you’re the sort of hands-on manager who would get down there on the line with your workers. But I don’t want to make an ass out of you and me. J
Here’s a question: do you wear goggles on the sleigh? In the pictures I’ve seen of you, you’re never wearing any sort of aviator goggles, but I think it would probably be safer for everyone if you did J. Don’t you worry about dry eyes L?
Have you ever caught someone being naughty and totally let them off the hook? Have you caught any of the naughty things I’ve done? I have to assume that, because I got presents anyway, you’re sort of cool with my particular naughty interests. Is it pure benevolence? Or a grace period? If so, please let me know so that I can start reining the naughtiness in before it affects my gift revenue.
Do you ever get sick of cookies and milk? I sure get sick of Peeps.
Love,The Easter Bunny


Joe Giovannetti